Stump me. I dare you to think of something I cannot do for you. I can wait for the cable guy. I can pick up your kids from school and deliver them to daycare. I can return or exchange the gifts hiding in your closet. I can plan your vacation. I can make all of your appointments. I can make sure you get to your appointments. I can go to your appointments for you (just not the dentist, please). I can do your grocery shopping, gift shopping, and personal shopping. Are you dying for the Burberry mélange wool funnel neck trench coat at Bloomingdales in San Francisco? I can get it for you. I can buy you a label maker and label all your Queen and King sheets and create shelves exclusively for them. I can organize your Tupperware. I can drive you to a day of back to back meetings. I can re-enact SNL skits. I can shame your cell phone carrier into discounting your bill, or at least make them feel very very bad. I can plan your parties, coordinate your home improvement projects, organize your office, sell your crap on Craigslist, assemble your Ikea furniture, hang your plasma tv, work out with you, cook your meals, walk your dog, and watch your house when you are gone.

I can be your everything.

You didn’t know you needed me, did you?

Who am I? Click here to find out.

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